"All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players:

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts..."

-- William Shakespeare, As You Like It

We've all done it at one time or another. You behave a certain way with some people, and a different way with others. You're the same person - but your behavior changes. A chat with your boss isn't the same as talking to your best friend. You don't relate to Grandma the same way you do with your brother or sister. You're more careful talking to the cop writing your speeding ticket than you are with the clerk at the 7-11. It works the same way with groups - your audience may be friendly or hostile, and you adjust your approach accordingly.

These shifts in the face you present to the world are called personas; they're mini-personalities. You have the ability to develop many of them and quickly switch between them as needed.

We do this for many reasons - to meet the expectations of people we deal with, to manage delicate situations, to hide awkward or uncomfortable truths from others, or to avoid conflict and promote cooperation. All these reasons, taken together, point toward a simple purpose: adapting to the social environment.

Every day, you may deal with a wide variety of people. Navigating through social space without crashing is one of the earliest skills you learn. Some people are better at it than others.

When we alternate among social roles, it can feel artificial; there's a temptation to resist this and insist on "keeping it real". It's a noble effort to remain honest, but saying what you really think all the time has a way of leading to grief. Finding the fairest balance between raw honesty and a polished front is one of the more challenging problems we face - especially at work.

Workplace relationships are sensitive - your paycheck may depend on them as much or more than your skills. How you manage these relationships can also have a huge impact on your ability to move up to more advanced jobs. "Management" is as much about managing people as it is about managing details. You need to be good -- or at least competent -- at both.

When you put on your 'work face' every day, the people you work with do the same thing. Going in, you know that you face expectations that don't exist at home. Management expects everyone to 'play nice', at least enough to get your work done effectively.

There are several sources of stress at work - the social stress of performing your role, be it worker, boss, contractor or supplier, the strategic stress of dealing with hurdles, deadlines, incompetent co-workers, equipment failures and shortages, communication breakdowns - and, if you're not taking care of yourself, physical stress - lack of sleep, poor diet, little exercise.

The effects of these stresses often surface when people swap between roles. Ever known someone who is calm, easygoing and relaxed in one role, then aggressive, rude and thoughtless in another - almost as if they were a different person?

That kind of sharp change can signal stress. People respond to stress in different ways, and abrupt shifts in persona may point to problems. If you're dealing with co-workers or a supervisor whose behavior pivots in unpleasant ways depending on their role, their problem becomes your problem.

How do you handle this? You can't always change other people's behavior, but you can manage how you react to it. How you react can also serve as feedback to the person you're working with, and ideally help that person recognize there's a problem without feeling insulted.

This isn't easy, so start with the basics first; stay calm and keep your head clear so you can think through what's happening. If ever there's a time when you should set your feelings aside and coolly analyze what's happening, this is it.

Recognize that you're both playing a role. Step outside of your role for a minute. Mentally swap places with the other person and try to understand how the situation looks from their point of view. If you're still not sure, ask.

Stay focused and engaged. The gut response to trouble is to avoid it, but that doesn't resolve the problem. You can temporarily set aside a conflict to achieve a larger goal, but you've got to bring that conflict back front and center eventually and resolve it or it may grow.

You can't sweep away all personal conflicts. Some people are like oil and water. But you can add one more persona - a calm, serene confidence that you know your role and play it well.

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